To put my two pennyworth in, I would avoid living with your mum in law at all costs. For all the reasons above, and for the sake of your relationship. I have been married for 29 years and we are good friends, but looking after my mother has begun to take a serious toll on a relationship which has survived serious illness (including cancer), financial difficulties, and many other stressors. It’s like a living nightmare caring for her, even though I know it’s the illness and not my mum. I am called up to 10-12 times in an hour to answer queries about the same, irrelevant subject (often a garden plant). Sworn at, threatened with violence, told she wishes she never had me, accused of drugging her, accused of poisoning her, of stealing from her, of abusing her. When we go shopping she shouts at me, walks away from me, throws her purse at me (full of small change, of course), is incontinent of urine, throws goods from the shop onto the floor. She monopolises my spare time, and my husband is really upset about this. He wants me to walk away, because it makes me ill and that has a knock on effect to our whole life together. It is incredibly time consuming, even on my recent 3 days in Bridlington I ended up on my mobile trying to sort out medication issues. My advice is do not go there, if you value your sanity!