It was 3am when we called the police as my father was in a rage with a knife to his throat then stabbing the walls with it. In the days prior to it we had called Admiral nurses, Dementia Connect even BUPA and Nuffield to see if we could get a private referral through quicker. But the GP was slow to respond, there weren't Admiral services in our area, the waiting list for private care was 3-months and we weren't high priority for social services.
Even though referrals were made to social and health crisis teams after the incident we had to chase up everything, but they still weren't that interested and signed us off after one visit. It's taken 2-months for our adult mental health referral to finally come through, it's taken 6-weeks to sort private carers coming in and, like many people, in the meantime we've been left to 'discover our own path'.
Any tips or suggestions to deal with aggression, anxiety and delusions have been invaluable. Many have come through trawling through advice and links on professional organisations and being signposted by others, including this forum.
We know dementia stages can be transient and reasoning is futile, that was never suggested. Having a better understanding of what is actually going on does, and has, helped dealing with dad but there are still plenty of times it might not work. @AwtcT at no point do or did I recommended that you - or your mum - puts yourself at risk during these episodes. My mum is the same in wanting to keep my dad at home as long as possible. So, if in the moment it's appropriate to try techniques then do, if not then just get out and/or call the police, the next stage is then automatically triggered.
More and more people with dementia are being cared for at home, where carers are not skilled or trained to deal with hallucinations, aggression, anxiety and delusions. Social services and the NHS are up to their eyeballs and accessing support is painfully slow. That is why the police are becoming increasing involved in dementia care. They now have training in dealing with PWD as well as the family, they told me they are regularly called out. They provided great support in the moment, diffusing the situation plus they pushed through crisis referrals to the professionals. It's a great idea to talk to them about dementia-related responses, might do that myself.
